Is It From the Office Or the Officer?

I took an online test for narcissistic personality disorder at psychcentral.com This test doesn't seem to differentiate between a person and the offices that the person holds. One particular question asks if I deserve respect for myself, but it doesn't differentiate between me as a person and any particular office that I am holding, like husband, father, etc. I hold the offices of husband and father, handed down to me from God through marriage and through fathering a child (children, in my case)(Romans 13:1). Someone could get critical of my parenting and partnership skills, and bring up their concerns in front of my wife and/or children, whoever is on the other side of my relationship. This attacks not simply me, but my office. It could be well-received advice in a private context. But because the other end of the relationship is also present, it questions the office itself. The other person is called upon to question their own way of interacting with the office. Fortunately, I have my faith in God and trust in the Scriptures to differentiate between what is ordained by God and what could simply be a temptation for narcissistic thought.

I think that when the office isn't recognized as being from the Lord, the default is to designate the individual as the designer. With the individual as owner, and with the assumption that the individual is flawed, the office then loses its integrity.

There is still a lesson I think that we as Christians can learn from having an office questioned, even if it is misappropriated to the person instead of the office. The Lord himself does not want us doing things that leaves other Christians, particularly those weaker in faith, to suffer from our actions because they don't understand (Romans 14:13-18). That isn't a loving attitude that looks after our brother and sister. If there is ever a doubt about our actions in office, we can ask ourselves if we are being sensitive to the measures of faith of others.

Not My Will...

One psychological inventory that my therapist gave me indicated that I hold on to several irrational beliefs. One of these is that I'm stricken with stress and irritation when things don't go my way. I tend to think things like, "Why me?" "I thought I had enough to deal with!" I had to confess it to my kids as a grown-up temper tantrum. That struck a chord in the 3-yr old's mind!

Of course, the Lord never forsakes us (Hebrews 13:5), and He disciplines those He loves (Hebrews 12:6). I stop my kids when they're misbehaving, even if they're intentions are good, and I expect compliance. I should practice what I preach, as God's child. If he cares enough to not give me exactly what I want, it would be smart of me to stop my behavior and listen.

How Feminism Yields Violence, and the Blessing of Power and Control

My belief is that feminism is a cause of domestic violence because it teaches men to look at women as other men. Men learn that the similarities negate the differences. Men often get physical with other men, ultimately, to defend the Gospel. In other manifestations, their physical violence is used to defend their people from annihilation by other people - particularly the other people's men. Violence is more closely related to swift justice than to domination, as the feminists try to insist.

A counselor explained to me that feminism rose up in the legal system from the Duluth Model. The movement began when a group of feminists pleaded their cases before congress in Duluth, MN, and won the passage of new laws. Unfortunately, an article in Wikipedia on feminism reports that feminism is almost entirely based on pseudo-science .

When going through therapy, and being held up against these views, and even worse, have your actions legally defined by these views, one feels the need to speak out.

I was not surprised to meet a man who never had a problem with violence against women until he was mandated to go to one of the domestic violence classes. He told me that was when he started having problems. The reason is clear to me, as I mentioned. And the proper response is repentance to God. Repentance for not understanding our male and female difference better, not loving God more than the wife, and not lovingly using our God-given power and control to protect her from the evil one, so that the Holy Spirit can raise her up to be the woman of God she was re-created through Christ to be.

Why feminism? Our sinful nature wants to know right from from wrong, and leave God out. It's the sinful way to respond to the sinful problem of abuse while still leaving God out. Women are just as guilty as men are of trying to live life without God. Feminism makes sense, especially to women but also to men of little or no faith. It's following the voice of the stranger (John 10:5) (John 8:44), who promises enlightenment but also wants to destroy God's people and creation.

I write to other Christians about the legal and psychological systems and our faith I hope that this blog encourages you to stay active in your faith in Christ. You know the system can't destroy you, but God can use psychology to show us our sin and lovingly help us stay on the straight and narrow (Matt 7:14).

I'd also like you to consider the Lutheran Church, Missouri Synod, and our theology. It is a strong Christian organization that takes nothing out of the Bible, and can explain concepts that other theologies often leave untouched, like male headship in the family, and why Christ's body and blood are truly in the bread and wine, not merely "represented." (John 6:24-65)

Do They Understand That We Are One, Not Two?

This is a comment I left at the site: Encyclopedia of Mental Disorders, http://www.minddisorders.com/, by AdvaMeg, Inc. Addressing the need for more Spirituality in social science.

"I have been diagnosed with features of NPD. The only thing that bothers me is the lack of Spirituality in science. I love the work that they're doing, and understand that many psychologists are Christian. I think one thing that exacerbates the diagnosis of my problem to society ("Psychotherapy," 2nd par.) and clinicians is that in reality (by faith) I am one with my wife, not two anymore (Mark 10:8). Yet they continually treat me as an individual on my own. I think their view is exacerbated even further (sorry about the over-usage!) because most of my psychological systems are government-funded, not private - and privately funded - practices. They may have their own recommendations get nixed because of the funding source. So I'm trying to find treatment that doesn't turn me into an Obamite (socialist). I'm also in need of funding because my wife is an illegal alien (immigration is another one of my areas) with severe mental problems as well as me, so work has been very difficult. I'm trying to foster more communication in this area through my blog, if it would be helpful to anyone: http://mynarcissismjournal.blogspot.com"

Feeling Separate from My Narcissism in the Midst of a Crisis

I could sense my narcissism very clearly recently. My parents had to help me make a $600 car payment. I felt like I was thriving on the attention and just letting them take care of me. As the problem was wrapping up, I sensed the temptation to just relax until the next crisis. I was asking myself how much of their good graces I had used, and when the next time would be that could effectively ask for something. I also felt a sense of pride for handling my relationship with them effectively. And more recently, I feeling guilt for thinking this way, and more motivation to get myself out of this situation so I wouldn't have to ask for help again.. Perhaps in a spiritual way, this whole ordeal was good for all of us. Perhaps it was inevitable in terms of spirituality - where people are in their relationship with the Lord, and how they are living according to the measure of their own faith. I'm learning based on my faith that it is so uncomfortable putting others out like that. I am more motivated to avoid my own temptations. I am also more confident that God has given me everything I need and will sustain me and my family. I see that when I'm not relying on Him, it's so much more uncomfortable.